Dynasty Nonsense
by TianZhiJiaoZi
Summary: Anything random that pops into my mind will be part of this story. Content: Randomness.
1. Chapter 1

To tell you the truth,I was bored. So I typed this. NONSENSE ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

Dian Wei,age 3

"MUM! I'm going out to play with Xu Zhu!!!" Dian Wei yelled through the house.

"Alright,come back before 6 pm...." his mother's voice came out of the kitchen.

Dragging the flail he received on his birthday,Dian Wei gave a toothy grin and yelled back," I'll remember,without **flail**!"

* * *

Zhang He,age 3

"What's this? I thought I said I wanted barbie dolls!" Zhang He looked at his Autobot figurine in distaste.

"What's this again?! I said I wanted a hair slide!" Zhang He whined at the sight of his present,a Bob The Builder helmet.

"Well,son," said Mr Zhang uncomfortably. "We couldn't find them at the boy's section..."

Zhang He sighed. He picked his last unopened present,given by Sima Yi,his neighbour's son.

"Ah?? What's this?"

He scrutinised the squarish thin box.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! PARIS HILTON'S CD!"

* * *

Sima Yi,aged 3

"Hi Sima Yi. Whatchoo doin'?" a chirpy voice came behind Sima Yi.

"Chunhua?!" Sima Yi turned in fright.

"Hi there." Chunhua dazzled Zhongda with a smile.

"Uh-oh."

"GIRLS,HE'S OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Chunhua turned back and yelled. Then all of a sudden 4 girls were chasing one boy.

* * *

Zhuge Liang,age 3

"100 x 100 equals to ten thousand," Zhuge Liang recited out loud.

"E equals MC square..............."

Zhuge Jin and Zhuge Jun looked at their brother worriedly.

"Are you sure he's normal?" Jin was worried.

"Nope,"replied Jun.

* * *

That's all.... I hope I can come up with more! So stay tuned if you like it. If not,click on the browser's back button.

- 天月


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the reviews! Alright,childhood days continues...

* * *

Cao Cao,age 3...

"This land is now mine!" claimed a young Mengde as he stuck his toy sword deep into the sandpit. He and Xiahou Dun,along with his brothers and cousins,proceeded to build sandcastles,sandhouses,etc,etc...

**Comment: Ambitions started young...**

Yuan Shao,age 4

"Haha! This land only belongs to ME!Zhang He,do your job!" Yuan Shao ordered.

Zhang He looked in distaste at the slipshod work Cao Cao and the others had made.

"How unsightly..." he muttered,before whirling around the sandpit like a tornado,creating beautiful sandcastles complete with intricate designs,unicorns,stables,and of course,a town statue of Yuan Shao....

* * *

**Comment: And that,is why Cao Cao and Yuan Shao are mortal enemies...**

Zhen Ji,age 3

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDY!!!!!!!"

"Coming,my little girl,coming..."

"What," snarled a young Zhen Ji,"is this?!"

She held up a glass of Coke. In it were 3 ice cubes.

"..." Mr Zhen was uncertain of what to say.

"I asked for an ice cube,not THREE ice cubes!!!"

"Alright,alright,daddy will get you a glass of Coke with only one ice cube..."

* * *

**Comment: Aha! Wondering why she's so spoilt? This is the reason why! :)**

Yue Ying,age 3

"2 x 2 = 4,3 x 3= 9..."

Huang Chengyan smiled proudly at his daughter. Surely one day she was going to marry a very smart man...

Sitting down next to her,he said," My girl,if you're going to continue what you're doing for the next few hours,your throat will explode. Now,rest."

He handed her a can of Coke.

"Daddy," said Yueying,narrowing her eyes,"how many times have I told you,Coke is unhealthy. Now,hurry and get me a Diet Coke instead..."

* * *

**Comment: Ah? Smart kid. **

Lu Bu,age 4

"Now,we shall move on to the next music piece..." droned the music teacher.

Lu Bu,obviously,was bored. He felt like smashing his _guzheng_ into smithereens.

"LU BU! Pay attention!" His music teacher raged.

"Shut up..." Lu Bu snapped back.

The teacher had gone purple in the face. Storming over to Lu Bu,he smacked the child on the head.

Lu Bu,in rage,raised his _guzheng_...

Tap.

The teacher fell dead.

* * *

**Comment: I got this idea from a story of Hercules. He killed his teacher with a lyre!**

Sun Jian,age 4

Huang Gai and Huang Zhong,both aged 5,were playing a peaceful games of marbles,when all of a sudden...

"RAWRRRR!!!!"

An unidentified orange object landed in front of them.

It was Sun Jian in a Tigger suit.

* * *

**Comment: Fear the tiger of Jiang Dong!**

That. Is. All.

Thank yous for reading! Now,please drop a review! :)

Note: If there are no requests to continue the Dynasty Tots series,I'll move on to other things. So,if you want to catch a glimpse of your favourite character's childhood,review! :)

* * *

- Tian Yue


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the long update. ~~~Sorysorrysorrysorry~~~ *yes,it's a song...*

Dynasty Tots has ended. A new beginning! :)

* * *

(Note: This chapter is historically incorrect. Very.)

"Master Zhou Yu!!! Jing Province has fallen to the Shu forces!!!"

"Let them have it! Wu is too big!"

"Master Zhou Yu!!! Nan Jun has been captured by Shu!!!"

"We're friends,so why should friends squabble over such trivial matters?"

"Master Zhou Yu -- "

"Xiangyang was meant to be a gift from Wu to Shu."

"Oh." The messengers looked at Zhou Yu incredulously.

* * *

Back in Shu...

Zhuge Liang was surprised that Zhou Yu hadn't been exasperated.

So he went over to Zhou Yu...

* * *

Zhou Yu was playing the zither in his room (Which is why I said this chapter is historically incorrect,along with other points...).

"Hello,Zhou Yu."

"Why it if isn't my DEAR friend Zhuge Liang!" Zhou Yu was about to hug Zhuge Liang.

"Er,nice music you were playing..."

"Yes. You came to ask about the lands you so blatantly took from Wu?" Zhou Yu's face was unusually calm. Unusually calm.

"..." Zhuge Liang felt a little scared. This wasn't going according to plan...

"Yes. Err,I thought you may be a little bit angry?"

"No problems!!! We're friends,allies! Why fight?"

Zhuge Liang was desperate to exasperate Gongjin.

His eyes twitched violently.

"Er,ah,er,LOOK!"

Zhou Yu looked at the direction Zhuge Liang pointed at.

Seizing the opportunity,Zhuge Liang grabbed the zither Zhou Yu was playing and smashed it to the ground. At the same time Zhou Yu had turned to look at Zhuge Liang.

"Ha,haha,see?! I broke your zither!!! Now,are you angry?!?!?!"

Zhuge Liang's voice was slowly getting increasingly high pitched...

Zhou Yu hid a smile. _All according to plan..._

"Oh. What a shame. I suppose I'll have to get another one."

With that,Zhou Yu walked to a closet. Opening it,Zhuge Liang saw from a short distance shelves of zithers.

Zhou Yu picked out one and returned to his table. He beamed at a very astonished Kongming.

"Handy,isn't it? I remember the inconvenience it caused when my zither broke and I had no extras. Imagine,the horror!"

"Er,ah,er..."

Zhuge Liang was shaking and his eyes were twitching even more. His voice became that of a madman.

"Er,ah,I kidnapped Xiao Qiao and...and I tortured her! Bwahahahha....."

"Oh,no worries. The Sun family has enough money to pay the ransom and the medical bills..."

A Very Desperate Zhuge Liang ran to Zhou Yu's bed and rushed back,holding a teddy bear.

Zhou Yu faced him with a mysterious smile and calm attitude.

_WHY?!?! Why isn't he angry?!?!?! I'll make him angry! I Am Zhuge Liang! I never lose!_

**RIP!!!**

Zhuge Liang tore the teddy's head away and held both parts of the bear in front of Zhou Yu's face.

"Ah,ahaha! SEE?!!"

"Sorry,Zhuge Liang. It's not my bear. It's Shang Xiang's. She lent it to me when I was having nightmares."

Upon hearing the name 'Shang Xiang',Zhuge Liang paled. His face was full of sweat.

_Shang Xiang?!?! SHANG XIANG?!?! Oh no_...

Zhuge Liang grabbed a pair of scissors from Zhou Yu's table.

SNIP!

Zhou Yu's ponytail fell to the floor.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SEE?!?! You're no longer handsome!!! Mwahahahahhaha!!!"

"Zhuge Liang! You're a friend indeed! You saved me ten _yuan_! I was thinking about going for a haircut! Thank you! And you did an excellent job!"

"Huh,uh,huh..." Zhuge Liang was quivering with madness,desperation and fear.

Just then,the door opened. A person walked in.

Zhou Yu. #2.

"Zhou Yu,my friend! How are you?" Zhou Yu #1 beamed and greeted Zhou Yu #2 warmly.

"Ah? Huh?..." Zhuge Liang looked at the two Zhou Yus standing in front of him. "Gag,gagagaga...." he started blabbering endlessly....

"Hahaha,haha,HAHAHAHA!!!"

With that,Zhuge Liang threw himself out of Zhou Yu's window.

The two Zhou Yus high-fived each other. Zhou Yu #1 raised his hand...

And pulled off his face/mask.

It was Gan Ning.

* * *

Hahaha! Yayyayyayyayyay!!!! Three cheers for Gongjin!

- Tianyue


	4. Chapter 4

It has been a longggg week. Anyway,enjoy!

**Diary of a (insert-character-here)**

Dear Diary,

Today was a wonderful day! I helped the ants cross the road and gave old folks a bath! I enjoyed feeding dust bunnies and playing movies for the blind!!

I'm getting more righteous everyday. :D

Liu Bei

P.S I got a gold star from Zhuge Liang too! (:

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today was an ordinary day.

I got robbed,but I remembered the robber gave me a big bag of marbles when we were young,so being a just person,I let him go.

After that,I went to buy crisps. But I found out that the crisps had expired,so I stormed back to the shop. I then realised that the shopkeeper once done my maths homework,so I went away.

I'm full of justice!

Guan Yu

* * *

Err,haha. Other entries coming out soon...


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

Today was the most beautiful day! I danced with Barbie and Ken,and won a fashion contest held by Disney!!!

I dressed up as Ariel the Mermaid. I AM too beautiful.

Zhang He

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today I went to the fashion contest held by Disney with Cao Cao and Cao Pi.

Gosh,the mermaid girl is HOT!!!

Sima Yi

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today I went to watch Pirates of the Carribean. Excellent,the PERFECT movie for me! They have only one eye,PERFECT for me. I also went to the nursery rhymes convention and enjoyed the Three Blind Mice music. Also I borrowed a book of Greek Myths. I think I can be the Cyclops in the story! :)))

One eye guy,

Xiahou Dun


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Diary,

Today was Guy Fawkes day! Wheehee! Everybody's burning some rubber dummy!

Lu Xun

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today was magnificent! We danced...

The foxtrot

The tango

the flamenco

ballet

cha cha

Chinese dance

hip hop

breakdance

the ballroom dance

and the boogie!!

And we danced till our husbands' legs became rubber!

Da Qiao

Xiao Qiao

* * *

Dear Diary,

My whole body aches and feel rubbery.

I won't write

m

o

r

e

(in bad handwriting)

Zhou Yu

* * *

Hahas... More to come!!!

- Tianyue


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Diary,

Today I watched Pirates of the Carribean with Xiahou Dun. Arr! Now I wish I have one eye!

Gan Ning

* * *

Dear Diary,

So today Gan Ning went to watch a movie. So,FINALLY,a peaceful day.

For me to nick his Playstation!

Mwahahahahaha!!!!

Ling Tong

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today I danced along with the two Qiaos. Such fun! :)

Diao Chan

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today,I massacred one million...dummies.

There are none who can stand before me!

Lu Bu

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today I guzzled a gazillion bottles of Coke and ate a googillion boxex of pizzas.

Mm,now I'm still hungry.

Dong Zhuo

* * *

Still some more to come. Drop by a suggestion if you wish.

-Tianyue


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Diary,

Today is as noble as ever. Those insignificant peasants who bow to me everyday bowed to me today.

I AM the bestest noblest awesomelicious nobleman.

Yuan Shao

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today I meditated for 10 hours and recited the will of Heaven 100 times.

I'm beginning to feel the warmth and touch of Heaven!

Zhang Jiao

* * *

That's all for taday. I misspelt that on purpose. Anyway,please leave a review! :D


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